Wrap-Up: Sylvia + the Wedding Crashers
Our last day in Kenya was full and threw us a major curveball.
Claudia and I typically fly out on a Saturday night flight that leaves Nairobi at nearly midnight. So we have the whole day in front of us, until we need to eat, shower, and head to the airport. But because it’s the weekend the schools are closed, so we can’t go there. We schedule other visits and tasks.
Last trip, we were invited to attend the celebration after a young man’s circumcision. He was 14 at the time. Thankfully, we were not there for the actual event. Also thankfully, his more modern (comparatively) parents chose to have it done in a hospital. But we had no delusions that we could top that event.
Wait for it!
We started by dropping off a food basket for Abigael and the family she lives with while in school. Ginger and I sponsor 5 of the sisters in the host family. Above is Abigael and Marion.
Our planned tasks for the day were to meet up with Sylvia and her sister in Ngong to buy Sylvia a new pair of school shoes. Sylvia is in 7th grade at Kimuka Primary. She is 14, I believe.
She was on the list to provide shoes for as part of our big shoe drive at the school (October 2024). But the pair made for her didn’t fit, and we had no extra pair that was bigger. So we were meeting today to fix that.
She traveled with her older sister (possibly stepsister), Rachel.
We got the shoes, and were planning to then drive the young women home, and visit the family.
Before we could leave the shopping mall, Wangari came up to me, with a big smile, and asked, “Can we get ice cream?????” at 11 a.m. She didn’t have to ask me twice. And Claudia volunteered to buy ice cream for all of us.
Sylvia opted for the sundae with the most paraphernalia in it, including “gummy worms,” as she and Rachel are holding below. It was a really sweet moment (no pun intended) with the 7 of us having ice cream for lunch.
We then piled into Thomas’s van and headed for Sylvia’s home.
Claudia typically will try and print out pictures of the kids and their families that we took on the previous trip to bring back for them. Many of the families have no physical pictures available. Below, Sylvia is looking at the stack Claudia gave her.
We got to the house. This is no small feat, in itself. The two-rut road leading to the house has a badly eroding ravine eating into the road. It was narrower this trip than last, and Virginia wouldn’t drive over it last time.
Thomas, with the bravery of a safari driver and the bad memory of a driver who needed 30 teenage girls to push him out of a ditch a couple days before, drove it. And we made it. The people on the ravine side of the van saw their lives flash before their eyes.
Above, Sylvia’s brother Gift, her sister (or stepsister), Sylvia, and her mom. Her mom had, of course, made lunch for us. None of us could eat, so we pushed the plates to the kids.
We always feel guilty when the families feed us. But it is the norm of the culture to feed guests. We know many of the families have no food to spare. In fact, in the pictures of Sylvia’s dad, below, you can see packages against the wall beyond him that are the food basket we brought them.
Below, I’m with Gift.
Sylvia’s dad came in later. He had been away when we got there. We were thrilled to see him, and that was a major reason why we wanted to go see them on our last day.
He is 83 or 84 years old. He has two wives and 18 kids. He used to have a lot of cattle (the measure of wealth in the culture) but lost them all in a multi-year drought. He’s too old to farm, so relies on his wives selling beadwork for income. Sylvia’s mom is in her mid-thirties.
One source of income for the family would be for him to sell his daughters into arranged marriages. But he refuses. He insists on getting them educated. What little income he has is going for a daughter getting a post-secondary degree in a medical field.
His devotion to improving the lives of his daughters goes so far as to ask for financial help from strangers to get his daughters through school. Sylvia’s sponsors and Tuko Pamoja are glad to help and to support this deserving family.
When he came in, the hugs flew! Then, his only request for us was that his family was very short on food and he needed help. His wife and kids then pointed to the food supplies we’d brought behind him.
We then departed and had one more stop we wanted to make before leaving for the airport.
The day before, we had got a call from the adult sister of a sponsored child. She was at the hospital with her mother. Her mother was being examined for injuries from being beaten by her husband. The injuries were a few bruises, but she also had tonsillitis. And they needed help with the medical bills. I’m refraining from mentioning the sponsored child’s name for confidentiality. We will reach out to the child’s sponsor separately.
We immediately agreed to pay the hospital bill and Virginia forwarded the money.
On Saturday, after leaving Sylvia’s, we decided to quietly swing by the family home to see if we could talk to the mother and daughter privately. Do we need to be looking for a safe house? Was this a regular occurrence? We want to be there to help with what the family needs for safety.
The family home isn’t on the way to anything. To drive by, we had to traverse an open road in a highly visible and remarkable (for the area) vehicle. The yard of the house and surrounding area were filled with people dressed in Maasai finest: shukas, beads, wraps, knives, the works! Many, many people.
Stopping for a private conversation wasn’t possible, so we decided to keep driving. As we drove by the yard, the mother of another sponsored kid spotted us and waved. Our cover was blown! We had to stop.
We walked into the yard and several people we knew came up. We had just crashed a traditional Maasai wedding!
We noticed other guests arriving, but staying on the road, outside the yard. We had broken protocol by entering the yard. Not to mention being uninvited.
We spent a few minutes talking with the family, but not the conversation we’d come to have. That would have to wait.
The next part of the wedding was the traditional welcoming of the guests into the home. The people inside the yard danced and sang. Then a dance line formed, snaking towards the guests. The guests also were dancing, singing, and clapping their way to the receiving hosts. Along the way, the groom, whom I’d never met, insisted I join the guest line.
Some of the other guests weren’t happy with my presence, but I was invited into the line by the groom and warmly greeted by the father of the bride. So, they had to accept it.
After the greeting ceremony, we were invited for tea. But we had to get ready for our departure, so we begged off. We already felt awkward enough.
We then got cleaned up and headed for the airport. The flight back is about 15 hours from Nairobi to JFK. It is long and painful, but better than connecting somewhere.
Claudia and I were preparing for what we knew was coming. The re-entry into the US is always psychologically difficult for us. We deal with all kinds of issues while we are in Kenya, in the name of love for the people. This trip alone, we:
Got a visually impaired girl in school, when she and her mom had no belief she would ever attend
Met with a 9-year-old rape victim we sponsor through Tuko Pamoja
Dealt with domestic abuse and extreme poverty in families we sponsor
Visited a school built for teen mothers and their babies, which also includes girls hiding from forced marriage and genital mutilation
Taught self-defense in the largest, and one of the worst, slums in Africa and set up plans to teach in another on the next trip
Turned down any number of more people seeking help
Got two 7-year-olds enrolled in school after they’d been sent home for non-payment of fees
Visited many other schools and kids
Visited three of the four schools where our kind sponsors allow us to provide porridge for about 1,500 kids every school day. In addition, we heard from two schools that the food programs increase enrollment in the schools, as parents hear there is regular food provided, and, remarkably, the pregnancy rate of girls in the schools (both are primary schools) has dropped due to girls not selling themselves for food money.
Bought a sewing machine for a special needs class
Saw many friends and loved ones
And now we have to come back to the US, where people, including us, are so incredibly privileged. And most don’t realize it. If you’ve read this far through these posts, I don’t think you fall into that category of not realizing it.
Claudia and I will again try to readjust to life here, without screaming or shaking anyone. But probably quietly grieving.
We can‘t thank you enough for traveling with us. Speaking for the whole Tuko Pamoja team, we really appreciate it. If you’d like to be more involved, in any capacity, please, please reach out. The world really needs more people like you.